Have you ever watched someone struggle with negativity and want to give up on their dreams?  You listen to their tirade of despair and you wish you could just infuse them with the confidence to pick themselves up and start all over again.  You wish that you could let them see themselves as you see them.  Maybe you’ve even been that person – I know I’ve been there before.  I experienced this recently with someone I care very deeply about.

 

My dear friend, although extremely talented, was lamenting how she would fail in a contest she was about to enter.  She cried about how she was doomed, how she didn’t even have  talent.  How “creative block” was robbing her of being able to produce anything meaningful.

I felt helpless in trying to bring positivity in and help boost her up, nothing I said to encourage her helped.  And then I started getting frustrated and a little short tempered when she wouldn’t listen or even let the positive thoughts in.  Real enlightened of me, huh?  Clearly I still have a lot to learn about inspiring people, he he.  And perhaps, the first lesson is that sometimes people aren’t in the right place to hear the encouragement.  Sometimes you need to give them a little time.  (And this was definitely the case – she totally perked up later & nailed it)

I’ve been there before – in that wallowing place, where I just wanted to stay pissed off and frustrated.  As if clinging  to my negativity and “woe-is-me” mentality as if it were a security blanket that would make it all right again.  But it’s interesting how we cuddle up in that blanket of warm loathing, feeling more secure in self-pity and failure than the risk of success.

This ill-fated circular exercise is a complete farce and I believe an act of desperation of Ego, a fear-induced ploy of an insecure mind, the voice of “the devil”/”monster” in your head, and the languish of the unenlightened/unrealized soul.  Pick all or whichever of the above resonates with you.  Whatever the reason is for you this line of thinking is pointless and damaging and it’s important to “call it out” so you can move on.

I believe with every fiber that we are made in God’s image, we have divinity within us and the biggest tragedy of our individual lives is not fully realizing that fact and using our unique god-given gifts to do what we were born to do.  It’s easier to believe we will fail because then we have nothing to lose, but in reality once we start opening our minds (& retraining) to believe that we can achieve success, the positive snowball starts to build and it becomes easier and easier to silence the monsters in our heads.

The following is one of Marianne Williamson’s most famous quotes, I LOVE it and it is Truuuuuuue! 😉  It very eloquently describes this phenomena.

Drink these words in and revisit them, because this is where we start to throw off the shackles and wounds of defeatist thinking.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

 

SHINE my friends, SHINE!!

 

This morning I was battling fear big time.  I found myself being inundated with negative thoughts and fears.  Potent, even plausible fears continued to assail my hopeful will and mind.  The “reality” of what I’ve just done – committing myself, publicly to making my dreams come true, sunk in this morning.

I started worrying about the HOWs of this thing and worst of all I started thinking about how I might fail.  We all have different core fears and mine is the idea of feeling “worthless.”  My emotions were in turmoil and I kept thinking, “why is this bothering me so much, where’s the disconnect from yesterday to today?”  And then I realized, I didn’t feel like it today. I didn’t feel like putting the effort in to be positive and motivated.  I just wanted to “be.”   I wanted to ease this burning feeling in my chest and just be comfortable again.  The idea of failure that seemed like no big deal yesterday suddenly felt like the worst thing in the world.  I wasn’t afraid of trying and being rejected, no, what I truly I fear is not following through.

I realized that I had decided to start writing this blog and had set no timeframe, no deadline and really not much more than an idea that I’d write something every day.  So naturally I started wondering about the days I don’t feel like it or the days I go on vacation, what were my rules?  The truth is, I’m not sure yet.  I just need to do this now, to write each day and push.  I’m going to go against my perfectionist nature and I’m going to leave room, at the moment, for the rules to come.

So I’m following through, I’m writing and I’m going to pray every day that God continues to give me the strength to follow through on my dreams.  With his strength it is all possible!

Two other quick thoughts:

-taking a risk & getting even a small task done, checked off the list, can really alleviate the stress of feeling like you’re floundering in your day/life. (I guess, just be careful you’re challenging yourself & not just checking off whatever is easiest)

-Wow, I’m so blessed by kind words from my friends right now.  Thank you friends! Don’t underestimate the power of one kind sentiment said.

Today, I’m working on keeping my momentum up and doing at least one thing (or maybe a few) to push myself to move closer to living my dreams.

So today I’m stretching myself with a little impromptu video, unscripted  unpolished, but an honest start.  Here’s goes nothin’!

It’s funny how a little flu can smack you over the head with a dose of reality so strong that you sober  up to your life and decide to make a change.  I had just such an experience last week, several epiphinal thoughts wracked my unsuspecting brain and well, catalyzed me to take the reins anew of my life.   The chief offender:  the realization that I had parked on my road of life, nearly giving up, or at the very least certainly not passionately pursuing my dreams.

I have a tendency to get depressed sometimes when I’m sick.   When I am feeling under the weather, my personality lends itself to finding all that is wrong in the world.  I’m a doer by nature and so sometimes when I am forced to “rest” every task that is left undone, dish uncleaned, carpet unvacuumed and dream unrealized accumulates over my head in a dark cloud of despair and anger.  My poor boyfriend, who  loves me despite my extremes, patiently listened to me as I baroquely chastised myself and those around me for the flabbergasting state the world was in.

But once I was done ranting, the explosion of my emotions contracted again and revealed a clearer picture of what I really feel, what I really want and where I am heading on this road of life.

I knew I was in desperate need of help, help that could only come from those who have made it their life’s purpose to bring enlightenment to us average joes.  I immediately ordered some Les Brown motivational recordings from Audible.com.  For the last 3 days I have been listening to Les over and over.  I’m sick and tired of the excuses I’ve created that have kept me from living my dreams.  No longer will I buy into these fallacies.  I’m bringing in positive reinforcement into my life.

So many of us have a plethora of excuses on hand to help us lie to ourselves and  keep us from living up to our true potential.  Les says that for every one person who tells you “you can’t do it” it takes 17 times of someone telling  “you CAN do it” before you start to believe in yourself again.  Well friends, I’m taking action and I will be listening, reading and being open to the positive voices in my life to remind myself that indeed I CAN do it and WILL do it – live my dreams.

I’m just like anyone else, I’m a normal person, not born into wealth or what many would call advantages.  Hell, I’m a single mom with no college education, I’ve had to rely on the kindness of friends and family to get through some hard financial times of late.  But I don’t care because those things do NOT define me, what defines me is who I am  and how I choose to act.  I’m flawed and fickle;  sometimes I’m right and sometimes I’m wrong.  I can be bullheaded and a pushover.  But within me lies greatness, the same greatness that lies within you.  This greatness comes from God and I believe he’s given each of us gifts and talents, dreams that poke away at our hearts, begging us to do what we were meant to come to this earth to do.  And dammmit, it’s time, I’m not going to live a life half lived and regret pursuing the dreams I know I’m meant to live and give.

One of the most powerful illustrations I’ve heard Les Brown share, and the one that motivates me and moves me to tears like no other is the story that follows.  I hope it will awaken a commitment in you to live your dreams too.

(Note: original video was removed by Youtube.)